self care beyond the cliche
By Jenny Carter, Counsellor
Becoming a mother will change your life.
You will most likely experience love, connection and joy but at the same time you may also notice a significant demand on yourself with new responsibilities that can feel difficult, perhaps frightening and at times – relentless. You may also notice the disappearance of some of your previous personal routines which can feel frustrating and even illicit some feelings of resentment for some Mums. It is so important to not lose yourself as a woman amongst your role caring for your children.
This is where ‘Self-Care’ enters the conversation.
The buzz words filling most of our Instagram pages with pictures of facials, massages and bubble baths. This may absolutely be part of your self-care (yes please!), but the core of what self-care is about should be – Caring. For. Yourself. This means the whole of you – body, mind and soul.
Stress, limited and interrupted sleep and everchanging bub routines to keep up with can leave us feeling there is nothing left in the tank and even the thought of having one more thing such as a self-care ritual is just too much. Whilst you are probably great focusing on being a wonderful attentive parent, have you noticed your priorities for your self-care have dropped off significantly compared to your pre-bub days? It is these times when we are stretched physically, mentally and emotionally that we may need care directed back to ourselves the most – and a little can go a long way.
“Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.” Katie Reed
You need to fill your cup up Mumma and here we share some ideas of what other women have reflected on as being helpful in finding some balance in their acts of caring for themselves:
Personal Connections
~ Find and keep connected to your safe, reliable and trusted people
~ Seek peers who are sharing similar experiences to you
~ Play & have fun together
~ Plan a date night – no kids!
~ Avoid toxic relationships
~ Join parenting groups you feel comfortable with
Sleep & Rest
~ Listen to your body
~ Slow down when you need to
~ Try to get around 8 hours sleep – if possible (that can mean going to bed earlier in the evenings if you need to)
~ Take naps
~ Set boundaries – say no to some outings if you are feeling tired
~ Read
~ Take a bath
~ Watch a movie
Spiritual Connection
~ Meditate
~ Play music
~ Sing
~ Create art / craft
~ Explore your faith
~ Take some time alone, personal space
~ Spend time in and around nature
~ Write in your journal
Physical Nourishment
~ Keep well hydrated
~ Find fresh, seasonal food
~ Shop online to save time to ensure you have fresh supplies
~ Have ready to cook ingredients delivered
~ Learn to cook – even basic meals like eggs on toast can be a great alternative to quick processed foods
~ Find recipes you love – and can make (or outsource, even better! )
~ Grow some food at home – herbs are a great place to start
~ Keep regular checks on your body stores
Active Movement
~ Yoga
~ Dancing
~ Walking
~ Stretching
~ Bike riding
~ Running, swimming, gym
~ Strength training
~ Playing with kids
Breathwork
~ Practice deep breathing - 4 seconds in, 4 seconds hold, 6 seconds out
~ Aerobic exercises
~ Get out in the fresh air regularly
~ Yoga
Remember it doesn’t have to look perfect and some days it won’t happen but don’t give up, you are worth it and your kids need Mums who can find their sparkle. There is also a good chance your little one’s will benefit from joining in sometimes. Who knows, they may even take these activities on as their ongoing future self-care… remember they are watching and learning from us – lead the way Mumma!
If you feel you may need support in some of these self-care practices – especially some that may be new but a great addition to your parenting journey, check in with our practitioners here at Maia Mothers – there is so much knowledge, care and support waiting to help you.
